Righteous Anger: Kensi’s Journal 3/28/21

3/28/21

Today was another one of those days that was so long I don’t even know where to start describing it.  Poor Nell, feeling all of the responsibility of losing track of Anna after we traded her to Katya for Joelle.  Righteous anger isn’t something I’m used to seeing from Nell, but she wasn’t wrong and I’m glad she was able to rid herself of some of it with me, even if a little bit was directed at me.  I’d like to say my attempt at a pep talk was a clever attempt to shake my friend out of her self-blame, but it wasn’t.  Regardless, our acting operations manager only needed a few minutes to get herself back in the game and on the phone to anyone who might help us find Anna.

Staying on the subject of blaming oneself, Deeks feels horrible that we promised Arkady we’d take care of Anna and then lost her to the psychopath who wants her dead.  It would be bad enough if she was only Arkady’s daughter.  But we’ve known Anna for years, both as Callen’s on/off girlfriend and as an occasional member of our team.  She’s one of us, and we let her down today.  Deeks is right, we are better than this.  And after we’ve had some sleep we’ll get back to doing what we do best and we’ll get Anna back.

One good thing about Deeks’ guilt over Anna—he’s forgotten, at least for now, that Arkady and Bertie seem to have developed some sort of “relationship” over Zoom.  It took all the self-control I had not to make step-father jokes about Arkady, and that’s only because I wouldn’t put it past Bertie to land herself a Russian with criminal ties as hubby #3.  The scary thing is that I can totally see them together—they’re both bossy, full of life, and have no filter between their brains and their mouths.  A formula for marital success, for sure!

As much as I hated to admit to Deeks how much Kessler has been in my head, his offer to help me hunt him down didn’t surprised me at all.  I knew Deeks would respond that way, but I can’t allow him to do that for me.  I know how the other dark things he’s done in his life have affected him and I won’t be responsible for adding to that.  So I guess we won’t go looking for Kessler, but we’ll damn sure be ready when he comes looking for me.