It’s why our work is so important:Kensi’s Journal: 2/17/2019

2/17/2019 So much for our day off.  I really should be in bed, but I’m too tired to sleep after yet another exhausting and dangerous day.  Eric was in fact calling us in this morning to deal with what we thought were more threats by the Mashriq Army.  It started with the sad news that one of the two FBI agents killed was a new father. That hit us both in the gut, and Deeks and I shared the same thought: that will not be us one day.

Speaking of “one day,” Deeks totally knew I’d been thinking about my time on the streets this morning while we were waiting for the homeless woman to return to her shelter.  I love him for not asking about it, even though I’m sure he wanted to, because he knows it’s not something I like to talk about.  Talking with the woman reminded me that the homeless community can be just that—a group of people who look out for and protect each other the best they can.  Which also reminds me, I need to bring her those extra blankets I promised.  During the few “down” moments we had today, I found my mind repeatedly wandering back to the woman and her community and how else I can help.  It’s making me wonder if maybe my next career should be working with the displaced in some capacity, like doing outreach for the VA since so many vets, sadly, end up homeless.  It’s something worth thinking about.  And mentioning to Deeks;could be something we can do together.    

Something I would rather not do again with Deeks is be a first responder after a bombing.  As helpful as we were, it was a brutal experience.  And honestly, just a bit too much so soon after comforting David Sarraf as he died.  I’m not sure how the professionals do it day after day, but I don’t think I have it in me.  Scratch EMT off the list of possible post-NCIS careers.

OK, confession time: at the hospital I initially missed that Wasim Ghulam was claustrophobic and not annoyed byDeeks’… Deeksness.  Fortunately instead of giving me the “touché” I was expecting, Deeks quickly followed Fatima’s lead and we ultimately got Ghulam to talk. Despite how much I love working with Deeks, it’s the rare times like that when I questionif we’re too comfortable in the field together.  Except those mis-steps are hugely outnumbered by the times like later on when wewere firing on all cylinders together and figured out the true purpose of the soft-target bombings.  If only we’d realized that Agent Ross was involved sooner (that will sting for a while).

For all the ribbing we gave Sam about the close call with the bomb yesterday, he came even closer to being killed by one today.  Sometimes I expect to show up at work to find that he’sfinally quit. Tomorrow will be one of those days.  Or maybe not, since he and Callen really connected with some of the people they were trapped with in the theater.  It was good to go to the candlelight vigil with them.  Moments like that remind us ofwhy our work is so important and why we risk our lives the way we do.  Moments like that are why I’m sure (despite Deeks and I wanting to start a family and Sam having lost Michelle) we’ll all be back at it tomorrow.