To Moving On: Drabble 5/14/23

A/N: Given how little Deeks we had this episode, not to mention his sudden disappearance without explanation, I struggled a little with what to write this week. I decided on another talk between Deeks and Callen.

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“You know, I’m going to have to get you a house key if you keep making a habit of this,” Deeks said as he walked up to the front door to find Callen on the front steps once again.

He’d kind of expected it after everything that had happened today with Pembrook, and especially since Sam was unavailable.

“Does that key come with a room?” Callen inquired, offering Deeks a beer. Fortunately, this time it seemed he’d waited to start imbibing and he looked in a better state than last time.

“You can have the couch if you want.”

“Appreciate the offer, but I’m not sure my back can handle that anymore.” He took a drink, then pointed at Deeks. “But don’t tell Sam that.”

“Scouts honor,” Deeks promised, briefly holding up two fingers before sitting down with his beer. “Are you planning on needing a room tonight?”

“Probably not.” He inclined his head and added, “But I reserve the right to change my mind.”

“Alrighty. So, Pembrook.”

“Pembrook.” Callen chuckled softly, looking towards the dusky sky. “The man had me rethinking everything. You know, he had the gall to apologize.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Wish I was. As if that somehow makes up for everything he did to us. For the tiniest second though, I considered it. A part of me wanted to believe him,” Callen said, pausing for a few seconds. “I found out today that Hetty pulled me out of the Drona Project. According to Pembrook, she regretted what she did and only had my best interests in mind. He also said that training us was all Hetty knew and parents often make those kinds of mistakes.”

“Huh, sounds like one of our neighbor ladies who tried to excuse my broken arm and mom’s bruises,” Deeks commented dryly. “‘It was just how men like your dad were raised. He just doesn’t want ‘Martin’ to end up a delinquent like all the other boys around here. I bet your father really loves you deep down.”

“Yeah, nothing like being told to forget the pain and trauma you endured because deep down that person cared.”

“Mmm.” Deeks peeled at the label on his beer. “Did he say anything else?”

“That I’m not an orphan and I’ve been loved deeply. Then he gave me a file with my whole family history in it,” Callen murmured, exhaling slowly.

“Geez.”

“After chasing after my past for so long, having the answers right there in my hand, and… it’s everything I’ve been trying to find all these years. Or at least I thought it was.”

“And I bet Pembrook made you feel selfish for ever questioning Hetty’s choices for your life,” Deeks guessed shrewdly.

“Yep.”

Emptying his bottle, Deeks set it to the side with a clank. “Well screw Pembrook.” Callen laughed in surprise. “He doesn’t get to have a say in how you react or feel in any of this any more than if my dad miraculously came back to life one day and walked in. Pembrook never had that right to begin with, and he certainly lost any possibility when he abused a bunch of kids under the guise of working for ‘the greater good’.”

“I know,” Callen said softly. “But I appreciate that. I might need you to remind me occasionally.”

“Got your back, Grisha,” Deeks agreed, patting Callen’s shoulder. “So, are you going to keep searching for Hetty?”

“I was thinking about what you said last time we talked about her. About being afraid to let Hetty go because it’s all I ever knew,” Callen said. He pulled another long swallow from the bottle and when he spoke again, his voice was measured, almost dispassionate. “I’ll forgive Hetty, because I don’t want to go on with my life with hatred tainting everything I do. I want my future to be a clean slate, or as clean as it can get.” He flashed Deeks a slightly mocking smirk. “I don’t trust her at all anymore. I guess I’ve known that for a while, but today helped me admit it to myself.”

“I’m sorry,” Deeks offered. He knew how difficult it was to lose someone you’d cared for, even if it was for your own wellbeing. He’d gone through his own grief with Hetty.

Callen shrugged again, inhaling deeply, if a little unsteadily.

“I have everyone I need in my life right now. People I do trust and know will never betray me for my own good or manipulate me. I have my family.”

“To healing.” Deeks held out his empty beer bottle, and Callen clinked the neck of his against it.

“And to moving on.”

“Amen to that, brother,” Deeks agreed.

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A/N: I’m kind of ignoring the whole bit where Pembrook basically said he chose Sam to be Callen’s partner.