Where is Deeks when you need him? Kensi’s Journal 11/24/19

11/24/19

Beale may be bulletproof (though apparently not dart-proof), but it looks like he couldn’t elude Hetty’s manipulations.  Welcome to the club, Eric.  I’m both proud and relieved he was able to escape from the bad guys multiple times and keep himself alive long enough for Sam and Callen to get to him, not to mention figure out what was going on in that start-up.  I hope Eric doesn’t realize anytime soon that Hetty probably suspected Chinese involvement before he even left LA.  Hell, she might have been responsible for the job offer that got him inside the company in the first place.  (I should have known she was holding back, especially since she seemed so forthcoming with information when I first asked her—and here I thought maybe she’d learned a lesson after Afghanistan and the mole hunt.  Oh well.)  Let Beale have his moment of glory knowing he figured out and played a major role in stopping another country from using our own citizens to create and benefit from cutting edge military technology.  He doesn’t need to know right now that some of the danger he was in might have been avoided had he known all along what Hetty was up to.  I’m sure Nell will tell him when she thinks he’s ready to hear it.

Poor Nell.  I wish I could have been more supportive with what she was going through.  I wasn’t sure what to say when she was so worried about Eric; I’m still more about doing than talking(or being—sorry Sam) in situations like that.  The fact is, Deeks would have known exactly what to do or say to ease her anxiety a little, seeing as how he’s been in a similar situation a time or two with me.  As hard as it was, Nell kept it together today and I was proud of her too. She did confide afterward, a little embarrassed, that she went off on Hetty but wouldn’t go into detail.  Another club with one more member, I guess!  

Add today’s Neric drama (individual and joint) to the long list of stories to tell Deeks when he gets back.  As much as I enjoy the occasional day or two of just-me time, I really hate it when Deeks is on assignment with LAPD, for so many reasons.  1) I don’t like not being the one to have his back; 2) I always feel better when he’s the one at my back; 3) the house is too quiet; 4) the bullpen is too quiet; 5) the car is too quiet; 6) Monty is too quiet; 7) I tend to eat way too much crap; 8) the bed is too big and cold.  It still surprises me that after all the years I happily lived alone, how quickly I miss my hubby/partner/best friend.  I knew he wouldn’t have picked up the phone if I’d called him earlier because his should be turned off.  All I really wanted was to hear his voice (okay, his voicemail message) if I couldn’t have him there to bounce ideas around with.  Damn, when did I turn into such a sap?  Oh well, in a couple more days Deeks will be safely home (and in our bed) where he belongs and all the drama with our friends and colleagues will be behind us.  I’m sure I can survive until then.