January 3, 2021
Happy New Year! Happy New Year? I’ve never really been one for “New Year Resolutions’, because why wait for such things? Carpe diem, baby. However, I really wish I could make one this year. But I can’t. Because I have zero control over this situation.
My days are like an out-of-control
roller coaster Kensi behind the wheel in a criminal pursuit: losing “both” my jobs, the incredible news of getting into the Academy, having to go through this interview process – where both my colleagues and work history could doom it all. So I’m doing all I can.
Like I told the interview lady, my lawyering days feel like a lifetime ago. Alas, I used Mr. Peabody’s Way-Back Machine to dig out my suit, iron my shirt, properly tie my tie, and even went to get my shoes shined and trimmed up my Viking locks. Wowza do I look fine! Yet, trying to keep my nervous ramblings on lock was a bridge too far.
And I promise it wasn’t a ploy to come across as endearing. The situation is far too serious for that. Yet there I was, running off at the mouth to – of all people – Sam. (I mean what would you do?! My entire career and livelihood are riding on this!) It’s a miracle he didn’t lay me out in one swipe (which we all know he can easily do). But he didn’t. In fact, he complimented me?! Wow, how pathetic did I sound for him to take that level of pity on me? Anyway, his tone and words were like chilled aloe on a fresh sunburn. I really wanted to bearhug the big guy, but we all know how that would have ended. Plus, it would have wrinkled my suit!
I realized I’ve never had to go through a traditional “interview” like this. Public defender offices are always hiring (due to the low salary). LAPD only cared about my physical and weapon scores. As for Hetty, well, who really knows if it was seeing my ability to endure beatings by Sam and a Serbian human trafficker or standing up to my corrupt boss. But I think we all know I won her over with my “cheeky charm”!
Seriously, Interview Lady cut to the core with the internal affairs case, which I knew would be an issue. All I could do was speak my truth. Whether that was the right or wrong strategy, who knows. What I do know is the clear “hint” she gave me at the end made me feel… relief… & hope. Two things I haven’t felt since… our wedding! So with that, it’s off to treat my team for the good things they must have said about me and one last celebration at the bar. Here’s to a strong (or at least moderately strong) New Year!