Through the Years: An NCISLA FanFic

Posted on December 31, 2022 by Em in Fan Fiction // 2 Comments

A/N: I decided to highlight some key moments since Deeks joined the team, good and bad, to close out the year.

October 2011

He isn’t sure this is going to work. His partner doesn’t respect him, the rest of the team regard him with varying levels of disdain or indifference on a good day.

Deeks doesn’t know why Hetty Lange offered him this liaison position he’s pretty sure she created just for him, but it’s seeming less and less of a good idea each day. Deeks rarely admits defeat; it’s a point of pride and one of the many reasons people often underestimate him. However, he’s wondering if it wouldn’t be better to cut his losses now and go back to the undercover unit. At least there he knew exactly what to expect and didn’t have to defend himself against the criminals as well as his supposed teammates on a daily basis.

Sighing, he gets out of his car, and heads into the mission. Sam calls him “Temp,” Kensi ridicules his hair, and Callen ignores him. Deeks jokes back like it doesn’t affect him at all.

Another day in a paradise.

May 8th, 2012

Deeks heads outside, a mug of coffee in his hand, meeting Kensi at the end of the driveway as she finishes up her morning jog. She smiles and kisses his cheek.

He loves every moment, even though he knows he shouldn’t because this is supposed to be fake. Yet he’s enjoying it way too much. He likes waking up next to Kensi, even if he has to call her Melissa.

The last several months, they’ve progressed from something beyond partners, even friends. It’s confusing, especially since they started out so antagonistically.

It’s a terrible idea, but he doesn’t exactly hate playing make believe with Kensi.

May 16th, 2013

Deeks is silent as Kensi drives him home from the bar. Between the meds and his decimated teeth, he hadn’t really joined in on the celebration. For a little while, he’d convinced himself it would be a good distraction, but as soon as he walked through the doors, it was too loud, too many people, and he wanted to leave.

He stuck it out for a couple hours though, ignoring the increasing throbbing that started at the back of his skull and progressed across his temple and cheeks, coalescing in a white hot pain in his jaw.

By now the pain is almost unbearable, and he can tell his face is swelling up again. He presses his head against the passenger window, willing away the pain. He wishes for sleep and oblivion, but he hasn’t been able to sleep since he first woke up in the hospital.

“We’re here,” Kensi announces softly. It hangs in the air, and when he doesn’t move, she brushes his arm, lightly, but he still jerks anyway. Sitting up, he faces Kensi without really looking at her.

“Thanks,” he whispers. He fumbles with his bag, fingers clumsy and oddly cold.

“Here, I’ll walk you in,” Kensi offers, and he knows she’s just worried about him, just wants to make sure he’s alright. .

“Thanks, but, uh, I can handle it.”

Kensi’s face falls, and despite her best efforts, she can’t hide her disappointment. “OK. If you’re sure.”

Just a couple days ago, he would have done anything to spend more time with her. He remembers their unplanned kiss atop the hill. Those few seconds of bliss before everything went to hell.

Now, he can barely look at her. He certainly doesn’t want her to see him like this: weak, terrified, and broken. How much he wants to curl up and just stop feeling.

Finally managing to get his fingers around his bag, Deeks tries to smile, but falls miserably short.

“Deeks.” Kensi touches his hand again, just as he opens the door. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” he promises, knowing that he won’t.

December 17th, 2013

He didn’t think it was possible, but somehow this Christmas sucks even more than being stuck on a Navy ship, after getting knocked out.

Maybe if he drinks enough eggnog, he can convince himself that he’s actually happy, and not missing Kensi terribly. He can tell everyone around him is trying to be cheery and look out for him. Sam keeps checking in, and has been since Kensi was unceremoniously sent to Afghanistan.

It helps some, but some mornings, Deeks still has to talk himself into getting up. He’d just been getting past the worst of his PTSD, or at least managing it better. Having his partner away, the person he cared about more than anything, had not helped with that progress.

With the help of the eggnog, and a whole lot of faking it ‘til you make it, Deeks smiles and jokes his way through the evening. He’s fairly tipsy, singing a Christmas song, albeit all by himself, when Hetty presents her gift.

A very tiny, petty part of him wants to refuse it on principle. She is the one who took Kensi away from him after all, but he takes the box, expecting a vintage poison bow tie, or some other relic from Hetty’s collection.

Instead, it rings, surprising the hell out of him. But not nearly as much as when he hears Kensi’s voice on the other end.

It’s not much, but he’ll take it. They talk for as long as they can, neither one wanting to hang up.

December 15, 2014

“So, what exactly does “being bold” mean?” Deeks whispers, his happiness shining through every word. They’re trying to be discreet since the rest of the team is still around, but he thinks they might be failing.

He certainly feels way too giddy to care about what anyone else sees or thinks.

“Well,” Kensi answers, trailing her finger across the table between them. To anyone looking from afar, it would look like they were having a normal conversation. They couldn’t see the wicked twinkle in Kensi’s eyes. “For starters, it means when we get to Mammoth, clothing is optional.”

Deeks laughs softly. “OK. I definitely like the sound of that. I’m all for no clothes whenever possible.” He folds his fingers around her, thrilled that he can finally touch her without any excuse. “I’m looking forward to this, too.”

Kensi’s eyes narrow slightly in confusion. “Sitting outside an ice rink?”

“No. Being with you,” he says. “Like this. It’s all I’ve wanted for a really, really long time and…” Deeks shakes his head, momentarily at a loss for words. “I’m beyond happy.”

Kensi’s answering smile is blinding, and after a quick check to see they’re not being watched, she sneaks another kiss. “Me too.”

September 2017

“Hey Deeks, how you doing?” Sam greets Deeks as he walks in the bullpen. He had just enough time to stop at home, shower, and change into something that didn’t smell like hospital before heading in for work.

“I’m good.” He nods, as if he does it long enough, it might be true. Sam smirks, and hands him a fresh cup of coffee. “Oh, God bless you, Sam Hanna,” he says gratefully, basically inhaling the piping hot liquid. He’s been living off coffee, vending machine food, and ibuprofen for the last few weeks.

“And Kensi?”

“She’s, uh, hanging in there,” Deeks says, feeling like it’s a lie. “There’s some positive signs, you know, but um, no real movement yet.”

“She’ll get there,” Sam assures him, and while Deeks appreciates the support, he wishes he had as much faith. He puts on a good show most days.

“Yeah, no,” Deeks murmurs, because he supposed to. “Kensi’s crazy strong and an amazing ninja assassin. She can handle anything.”

“Damn right.” Sam squeezes his shoulder, offering an encouraging smile. “Remember we all got your back, brother. Anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thanks, man.

Deeks sits down, does his work just like he’s supposed to, but the whole time he thinks of the ring in his pocket that he might never get a chance to use and the love of his life who may never open her eyes again.

May 2018

They have a bar. It’s ridiculous to think about; he and Kensi have an honest to goodness bar (OK, maybe it needs a little bit of work), and she doesn’t absolutely hate it. For the first time in months, maybe a couple years, he feels a kind of relief he can’t begin to describe.

He sees a future with Kensi that doesn’t involve lifelong injury or death. It feels like they can actually move forward with the wedding, with their life, without it being pointless.

***

Deeks doesn’t know how it all goes so wrong in just a few weeks.

He watches Kensi stalk away from him, and he knows he’s just made the biggest mistake of his life.

“Kensi, just hold on a second!” he shouts out desperately. He needs her to stop and listen so he can explain that he still loves her. That they can work this out.

She keeps walking though, and as the two agents behind him guide him away, he feels his world crumbling down around him.

March 17th, 2019

Deeks twirls Kensi in a circle, her shortened dress spinning slightly around her legs.

As she twirls around, Deeks draws her back in, resting his forehead against hers.

“We did it,” she says, grinning up at him.

“Yeah, it kind of makes all of the stress and drama leading up to this worth it.”

“Including Anatoli Kirkin trying to kidnap you in a misguided attempt to save you from me?”

“I could have done without that.” He pulls a face as he remembers Kirkin’s impassioned plea. “Honestly, I’d do it all again if it means getting to marry you. Everything.”

Kensi’s expression softens, and she cups his face, running her thumb along his jaw.

“Me too. I love you, Marty Deeks.”

January 17th, 2021

Kensi unwinds a roll of bandages, kneeling on the floor in front their bed. Deeks sits on the edge, shirt off, and one hand bracing his ribs. He’d pulled it together for the morning at FLETC and then plane and car rides back to the mission, but now his injuries are really starting to hurt.

It’s been a hard few weeks. Actually, a good part of the year has kind of sucked. From their fertility issues, realizing that the bar probably wouldn’t make it, to losing the liaison position. All in all, he feels pretty beaten down, even with his shiny new investigator’s badge.

Kensi cuts off a piece of bandage and climbs up behind him on the bed. “OK, let’s go through this again, babe. ‘I will not keep things from my wife, including broken ribs’,” she says, and Deeks offers an apologetic smile, even though she can’t see it.

“Sorry. I didn’t want to risk getting kicked out,” he explains with a sign. “Then they told me to leave and admitting that I got the crap kicked out of me on top of that felt like another failure.”

“Baby, you are not a failure.” Kensi says it in a semi-offhand way, busy smoothing the bandage around his torso. Grimacing, Deeks doesn’t respond, and Kensi pauses, rising on her knees to look at him. “Hey. Martin Atticus Deeks, you are not a failure. You have accomplished so much to stay with NCIS, and I am beyond proud of you.”

He swallows, overwhelmed by the praise he doesn’t feel he deserves. “But I didn’t finish FLETC. Not really.”

“And that’s Hetty’s fault. If she hadn’t interceded, I have no doubt that you would have aced every test they threw at you.” She presses her hand to his chest, her touch soothing. “Because I’ve spent the last eleven years with you by my side, Deeks, and I know just how good you are.”

“Sometimes I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you,” he whispers.

“Well, you’ll just have to show your appreciation somehow,” Kensi says suggestively. She kisses him softly, pulling away after just a few seconds.

Deeks tugs her back, pulling her into his lap. “No better time than the present.” The resulting pain is well worth it, he decides.

December 31st, 2022

It’s a cool night, at least by L.A. standards, and the sky is clear, filled with twinkling stars.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” Kensi asks, joining him out on the patio. He can hear just the faintest sounds of laughter and music coming from inside.

“I’m just enjoying the beautiful night.”

“And escaping the chaos?” she guesses shrewdly. She takes his hand, leading them to the loveseat they never bothered to put away, and tugs him down, curling up beside him.

“That too,” he agrees with a smirk. The entire team, their moms, and a few plus ones are gathered inside, ringing in the new year.

Rosa had spent most of the day decorating, so the house is now an explosion of shiny, multicolored streamers and confetti. They’d bought enough food and drinks to hopefully keep everyone happy for the next few hours.

Wrapping his arms around Kensi’s waist, he tucks his chin in her shoulder.

“Actually, I was just thinking how lucky I am. To have you, Rosa, this life. I didn’t think it was possible a year ago.”

“I didn’t either,” she says, curling her fingers in his shirt. “I know it’s not the life we imagined.”

“But it’s still amazing,” Deeks says, and Kensi instantly relaxes against him. “And I love it. Even when things are insanely crazy.”

“So do I.” Kensi cups the back of his head, kissing him as the sound of cheering erupts inside.

“Here’s to another amazing year,” he whispers. “Happy New Year, baby.”

A/N: Happy New Year everyone! I hope you enjoyed this little travel through the last 13 or so years.