May 12, 2019
I don’t know if I was good at hiding it or if Deeks is just giving me some time before bringing it up, but hearing about Sgt. Sims’ struggles after leaving the Marines hit me hard. The need to be part of something important, the rush of being in the thick of things, the thrill of meeting and falling in love on the job —I get it, all of it. Ellie Sims and I could be cut from the same cloth. After all, is being a “stud” in Afghanistan any different from being a bad-ass in LA? I don’t think so. And yet I don’t fear ending up like her. Yes, I’m worried that I’ll regret leaving NCIS too soon because there’s always more good to do and people to protect, but I can’t see myself feeling as lost and afloat as she must have. Once I make the leap to get out it’ll be because I’m ready to be a mother, as important a job as any. And with Deeks being their daddy, there will be no shortage of adrenaline rushes and thrills, I’m sure.
I almost wrote “baby-daddy” there just to sound hip (because apparently I need to impress my journal), but I’m pretty sure that technically applies if the parents aren’t married. Though it seems we won’t be for long since I insulted Deeks’ Yoda/Gollum impression and he demanded a divorce. Married only a few months and already my husband (😊) wants to end it! So glad we can joke about these things. Kind of like how I was kidding about Deeks torturing me if I were to cheat on him (like that would ever happen). But I have to say I was NOT expecting Deeks’ response about crying and ending up in a fetal position(at least not at work, that’s more of a pillow talk kind of admission) —especially since if Deeks ever has an affair (about as likely as me doing it) crying would be the last thing I would do…after I leave him and the other woman in tears and fetal positions and then destroy his truck in a way that would make Carrie Underwood proud.
On a lighter note, I may have teased Deeks about his breakfasts with Rogers, but I think part of the appeal there is the fact that he’s a lawyer too. I wonder if that’s an idea Deeks has been toying with—going back to the law after leaving LAPD? I doubt it since he wants to be around for a lot of the day-to-day stuff with our kids and lawyers tend to put in ridiculously long workdays. He certainly has the mind for it though. Anyone who can make the jump from terrorism to espionage and logically argue it the way Deeks did can definitely be a successful lawyer. But he will never convince me that hink is not a word. 😉