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Growth – Deeks’ Surf Log – 10/20/19


Sunday, October 20, 2019

Ebola ended up being the least of my concerns today. Yes, a virus that causes you to bleed to death ultimately seemed pretty insignificant. Not that I don’t care about the greater humanity, it’s just the world, my world, got very… focused in an instant. 

Kensi. Oh Kensi. It was a flashback, a reminder to how things used to be, of Kensi protecting herself behind an emotional “wall”. Absolutely no one could blame her. To carry the burden she did, for however long it actually was, once again substantiates my lady being an epic Wonder Woman. Her strength continues to astound me. 

I once said in marriage there are no boundaries. But I was wrong. Kens had every right to keep her suspicion, her feelings to herself (this time). My words were pure honestly that it was the right call to not tell me, even if in the moment it hurt. Had I known, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from overwhelming both of us, which in the end, would have just hurt us more than it already does. And as much as it hurt me, I knew I couldn’t let all that out. This was about Kensi.

Today, however, was a demonstration of growth by both of us. While I cautiously inquired about Kensi’s uncharacteristic behavior, I didn’t push. I let Kensi come to me on her own, in her own time. And she did. I didn’t have to force my way (typically with charm & jokes!) over/through her “wall”; she voluntarily communicated with me openly and directly when she was ready. I patiently waited; she bravely expressed her vulnerability. Man, this is unbelievable. 

So maybe my takeaway from this reflection is (painfully) this: Maybe we’re not ready. Maybe we still have some growing to do as individuals and as a couple. I may not like it. I may not agree with it. But if this happens to be the case, at least I get to go through it all with Kensi. And with that, I’m off for an overdue, heartfelt talk. #babysteps

About Gayle (138 Articles)
Gayle is a WikiDeeks writer and has the challenging task of penning the "Surf Log" each week. Known as "DensiLand" on Twitter, Instagram, & Tumblr, Gayle obviously "ships" Densi and has sincere love for the entire cast (& crew) of characters.

5 Comments on Growth – Deeks’ Surf Log – 10/20/19

  1. Great thoughts Gayle. It was challenging day for both of them, but they made it. As a result they are now even stronger together.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think maybe Kensi is more ready to have kids than she thought when she discovered she was late, in fact at the end we could read a lot of feelings in her expressions (thanks to the great performance by Daniela) and I guess not only a sigh of relief but also a little bit of disappointment. Maybe she was getting more and more used to the idea, who knows, and realizing it was a false alarm gave her mixed feelings.
    Thanks for this beautiful page.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lovely. I like this Introspective Deeks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jennifer McPherson // October 27, 2019 at 1:17 PM // Reply

    Gayle, this is a perfect reflection of the emotions that Deeks is going through and I can absolutely believe that this is how he was feeling, especially with ECO’s incredible ability to produce the facial expressions that tell us everything. Great Surf Log.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Of course, we don’t know how long Kensi was holding on to that to that important information, but I guess that’s not important for this story. Deeks expression showed me what a wonderful actor he really is. Thanks, Dr. Gayle for a wonderful Deeks Suf Log. wikiDeeks forever

    Like

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