Welcome to Holland: An NCISLA FanFic

A/N: A little post-ep one shot for “Through the Looking Glass”. I think most of us would like to know what happened after the margaritas.

***

“That was an extremely good margarita,” Kensi declared, fetching up against the door jamb as Deeks found his keys and unlocked the front door.

“Which one?” he asked, pushing the door open, and gestured for Kensi to go first. She danced through, clearly happy and fairly tipsy. The last couple months they’d both abstained from drinking to increase their chances of conception, which meant Kensi was feeling the effects more than usual.

“Mm, the mango.” She giggled, grabbing Deeks’ hands as she continued to dance, coming up with a step sequence that seemed like a combination of a cha-cha and swing dance. Deeks couldn’t keep his smile back; it was good to see her happy again, to see her actually smiling without a tinge of disappointment and sadness underneath.

Kensi led him around the living room, humming an unintelligible song beneath her breath, until they circled back around to the door. Then, looping her arms around his neck, she lightly shoved him against the wooden surface. Her eyes sparkled with warmth and humor.

Rising up on her toes, Kensi carefully cupped his jaw, the light in her eyes darkening. He settled his hands low on her back, not resisting when she pressed more insistently against him.

“Kensi, my love, you’re drunk,” he told her gently.

“I may be out of practice, but I’m not so drunk that I don’t know what I want,” she assured him. Before he could say anything else, she captured his lips between hers. He groaned, pulling her even closer, hands gliding up and down her sides. Kensi made an encouraging sound in the back of her throat, teasing his bottom lip with her tongue.

Deeks squeezed her hips gently while Kensi thoroughly explored his mouth. She slowly rolled against him, to the same rhythm she’d been dancing to a few minutes before. In just a few seconds, he felt his body responding eagerly to hers, seeking out more contact.

It took a considerable amount of effort for Deeks to ease his lips away from Kensi and even then she continued kissing along his jaw, fingers teasing at the back of his neck.

“I know I’m going to hate myself for asking this, and I’m a complete idiot for even thinking it right now, but, uh, what happened to taking a break?”

Kensi stilled long enough to look him directly in the eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, lips swollen and red. She looked absolutely gorgeous and Deeks had to resist the urge to make love to her right there against the door. Especially with Kensi looking like she wanted to devour him.

Her gaze softened a little and she lifted a hand from his neck to brush his hair back, fingers trailing down his jaw before tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I meant a break from shots and trying to conceive. Not a break from you or us,” she clarified, lowering her voice in a way that made Deeks’ stomach flip. “And definitely not from sex.”

A wave of arousal ran through his entire body, ignited by the obvious desire in Kensi’s eyes. It was like something that had laid dormant for the past months suddenly reawakened in him and he grasped the back of Kensi’s thighs, lifting her up.

Kensi entwined her legs around his waist, guiding his mouth back to hers as he carried her towards the couch and sat with her straddling his lap. He responded to her kiss enthusiastically. Kensi slipped her hands underneath his sweatshirt, her hands leaving a fiery trail in their wake.

She tugged his sweatshirt over his head and immediately dipped her head to kiss between his pecs. He groaned again, head falling back as Kensi continued her exploration. He was almost painfully aroused.

Deek watched her through the slits of his eyes as she rose up on her knees to hover over him, arching her back as she stripped off her shirt. They removed the rest of their clothes in between kisses. When she was completely naked, Deeks ran his hands from her ankles to the top of her shoulders, eliciting a gentle sigh from Kensi.

“Don’t stop,” she murmured, sinking down on him with a sigh of completion.

***

“I missed this.” Kensi sighed contentedly sometime later. She was curled into his side, one hand resting on his chest while the other drew little circles on the back of his hand. Although he knew their problems weren’t magically gone, it felt like they were taking a step in the right direction.

“Me too.” He tipped his chin down, scanning Kensi’s expression for any signs of the distress which had plagued her all day. The pinched lines around her eyes and mouth had dissipated some, but the most obvious change was the lack of tension in her body. She wasn’t holding herself like she was prepared for a fight at any moment.

Hesitantly, Deeks voiced the thought that had been on his mind since they left the mission. “Maybe this is way too soon to talk about this, but when you mentioned adoption…” He paused and Kensi seemed to sense his inner turmoil. She stretched just enough to reach his mouth, her kiss reassuring.

“Deeks, I know I’ve been a nightmare–”

“You are never a nightmare,’ he corrected her quickly, earning a fond look of exasperation from Kensi.

“I know I haven’t been the easiest to live with recently,” she amended, pressing her finger to his lips to prevent any further comments before she finished. “And I don’t want you to make excuses for me. Everything we’ve dealt with this year has been really, really hard, but I should have treated you better. I’m sorry I shut you out so much. Do you forgive me?”

“Always,” Deeks assured her. He cupped her cheek, bending to kiss her again. He was overwhelmed by her vulnerability in this moment and promised himself to give her no reason to regret it. “Not that I thought there was anything to forgive in the first place.”

Kensi rested her chin on his chest with a vague look of disbelief. “Sometimes I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“I’ll remind you of that next time I really piss you off.”

Kensi rolled her eyes at his joke, giving his hand a squeeze. “What were you going to say before?”

“How soon did you want to start looking into adoption? I mean, I can wait as long as we need, but, uh, I also know there’s a couple of places that in L.A. that are having open house events soon,” he began slowly, checking Kensi’s expression for any signs of distress. “Maybe we could check a couple out. You know, if it’s not taking things too fast.”

“I’d like that,” Kensi said, after a moment. “And in the meantime we could also look into fostering. Even if we can’t adopt right away, at least we’ll be giving a child a home.” She was silent for a couple minutes and then shifted onto her stomach, a line of worry forming between her brows.

“Deeks, are you sure you’re ok with… all of this?” she asked. Deeks cupped her cheek, feeling an overwhelming amount of love for her.

“Baby, I want to have a family with you. I don’t care how we accomplish it,” Deeks said, lifting her knuckles to his lips. “And even more than that, I want you to be healthy and happy. So yes, I am completely on board with taking a break, stopping treatments, and looking into adoption.”

Kensi let out a shuddery breath and kissed him a little desperately. When she pulled away, she pressed her forehead to his.

“I love you so much,” she whispered fiercely.

“I love you too.” Enclosing her in his arms, he kissed her temple, trying to reassure her with the simple gesture. “We’ll figure this out. It just might not be the way we imagined.”

***

A/N: If you’re curious about the title please check out the poem, “Welcome To Holland”, by Emily Perl Kingsley. I think it fits Kensi and Deeks’ current situation rather well.