She’s Back! Deeks’ Surf Log 11/6/22

Oh Lord, my mother has returned….and the drama’s back.  I missed her but kind of, sort of didn’t. It wasn’t until later while interviewing a suspect that I relived that drama all over again. 

I saw all the signs of abuse as I sat there in front of the woman. Hell, mom and I lived the pain of abuse over and over until I shot my father. So, I couldn’t blame her or judge her if Alice Morgan did kill her husband. Reliving that sweltering day at the ballpark had me shaking while my heart pounded in my chest. It didn’t matter how long ago it happened it never goes away. That feeling. It hurts especially the internal scars that still hurt when you pull on them. It’s a hell of a way to live, so I understand and sympathize with every nasty word and stinging slap she received. I cry for the help she never received. And now this. As long as domestic abuse isn’t addressed seriously you can throw all the money you want at it but it’s never going away. 

I know Kensi is concerned that Rosa doesn’t tell us enough about her dreams or what will make her happy. I think it’s only a matter of time before she will feel free to open up. I’m more concerned about the secrets she keeps inside. Secrets she keeps because she’s scared or ashamed. We couldn’t love her more if we were her natural parents. And I never want her to live with the fear I lived with as a child. If we get anything right, it will be to give her the peace of mind all people deserve to have. That’s my intention and that’s what I’m going to do I even if I get pecked to death trying. Ha!

Had an honest talk with Mama Deeks tonight. Roberta’s life is still full of drama but truth be told, I wouldn’t want her any other way. She’s a survivor and a strong woman…. which the world needs more of. I was a lucky kid to have had her on my side….and hopefully always will. Love you always, Mom. Always.