November 17, 2014
What the heck was I thinking taunting those bad guys?! Yeah, I’m known for my unconventional and creative approach to some ops, but by now even I realize sometimes it’s better to stick to SOP. A meat cleaver?! Seriously, who does that?! (Of course, who’s crazy enough to fill a building with gas? Oh, me, that’s who. Don’t think I’ll be using that again anytime soon.)
I heard the guys whispering about The White Ghost. That can’t be good. In fact for that mission to resurface is my own worst nightmare. I’ll attempt not to worry about that until tomorrow, at least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. (Plus Monty and I gotta take off soon for lasagna at the Hanna’s!)
So not only did we solve another case, but also saved (more) innocent citizens. Yet, the best part was saving Kensi from the explosion and her saving me from the maniac meat cleaver dude. As much as I know we want to save each other all the time, I think we both silently know we have to save ourselves first (which is so much harder). For Kensi to initiate and voluntarily voice an apparent demon from her past was a remarkable step that I so value. Good girl, Fern. (I’m relieved I didn’t have to lie to her about my conversation with Hetty – not that I could anyway.) She took a step that I hope is followed by many more.
Kensi was firm in her conviction that I couldn’t fool her. Really? For some reason that made me incredibly uncomfortable. She may be ready to share her demons, but what about me? I’ve been so focused on breaking down her walls, I haven’t paid attention to my own. As much as I feign being an open book, there’s no denying we all have issues we’re scared to admit or ashamed to reveal. Wow, aren’t I the hypocrite? We seem to be making progress, so why (as the optimist) do I sense a storm brewing?