We Always Find Our Way Back: Kensi’s Journal 01.09.22

1/9/22

I don’t know if it was the painkillers or Deeks’ arms around me, but I slept better than I thought I would once I finally drifted off last night.  I should have known this assignment would go sideways eventually; things never go well when my partner isn’t there to watch my back.  Deeks must have been freaking out all day, so he gets extra credit for that super-sweet comment about us always finding our way back to each other.

It’s good to be reminded regularly how lucky I am (and not just because I was in a cave and wasn’t chained to the wall this time).  I know I’m lucky to be alive today; had that bullet hit just a few inches over I wouldn’t be.  I’m so lucky to have Deeks by my side in all things, and luckier still that he knows me so well that he checked up on Rosa without my even having to ask. 

As much as I want Rosa to find some family in the US, is it bad that in my heart of hearts I hope she ends up with us instead?  I know this sounds stupid, and I would probably only ever tell Deeks about it, but I felt a connection with Rosa from the moment we had that conversation about things not turning out the way we want them to.  Like we’re meant to fill and heal the holes in each other’s lives.

But for now I guess all we can do is wait and make sure we don’t lose track of Rosa in the system (there’s more luck—that we’re federal agents who can access that information easier than most).  In the meantime, I’ll enjoy my recovery (wonder how long it will take the boys to realize I’m no longer the only one who has never really been shot?) and try make it up to Deeks for not being here for his birthday. 😉