April 13, 2015
Awkward. That’s the best word I can use to describe today. I have gone undercover several times as Callen’s girlfriend on different ops and most of the time, it just involved kissing. This time we had to fake sex. And more than once. And loudly. Since Callen’s alias had just escaped from prison, it had to sound convincing to the bad guys. I’m thankful they didn’t walk in on us while we were pretending because it would definitely have blown our cover. He laid on one side of the bed and I laid on the other, moaning and groaning. If it hadn’t been so uncomfortable, it might have been funny.
I’ve never been more thankful that we chose not to take a chance wearing our ear buds. Just the thought of Deeks being forced to listen to that makes me nauseous. He asked me once what happened at the house and I gave him a vague response about the men being suspicious of me but I didn’t volunteer information about the bedroom. He didn’t ask again. I don’t think he really wants to know.
I’ve never had to cross that line on an op with a suspect. I’ve come close a couple of times but the team managed to get me out before anything happened. I worry about the day when I’ll be forced to either blow my cover or go through with it in order to get the information we need. Deeks has been there recently. With that Monica. It took me a long time to get over that and we weren’t even together then. He, of all people, would certainly know it was necessary but I just don’t know if my heart would be so understanding.