An NCISLA Post Episode FanFic for Defectors: Scourge of the Shadows
Scourge of the Shadows
The chill started at his toes and rose slowly, numbing his entire body until his heart went deathly cold, freezing him in place beside her. The dread he’d kept at bay for so long shattered as the cuffs cinched tightly around his wrists, cutting him into tiny pieces of regret and real fear. He was afraid to look at her, but the deep need to tell her of his love won out and he managed to breathe out the words, hoping to ease some of the shock that was radiating off of her. He caught her bewildered expression and his stomach clinched into a tighter knot, fearing her response more than the charges against him.
The walk to the car seemed longer than a few feet, even though he felt a rushing in his ears as he tried to manage the chaos in his mind. He flushed with anger as the officer ushered him into the back of the car, the urge to resist flaring only briefly until the door shut softly, banishing him into the sterile shadows of the back seat. The dense silence beat against his ears as he tried to find some comfort from the cuffs that gouged his skin. His mood darkened as he turned his head, hoping to catch a last glimpse of her as she stood confused and unmoving on the sidewalk. Would she believe his innocence as he’d believed hers?
He could feel his heartbeat, now racing even as his mind became sluggish. It was all real now. No more speculation. No more searching his memories for what they had on him.
The impact of the word alone made him nauseous, and he swallowed hard to tamp down the burning bile rising in his throat. He suddenly felt very alone, and devoid of his usual blithe take on life. He missed her. Her absence hurt. He’d become used to having her beside him, her quiet confidence adding to his own assurance that they could deal with whatever came at them. He longed to hear all of their voices in his ear. He’d come to rely on instant communications with a backup team of two of the strongest men he’d ever known, and coupled with brilliant minds able to unlock any questions he might have. Not now. Now he was alone, and vulnerable, facing a dark future that left him empty and searching for hope. Would they all abandon him? Would his enigma of a boss work to protect him as she’d promised, or would the agency wash their hands of him? The uncertainty added to the chill that still gripped him as the car moved through familiar streets that no longer seemed friendly.
He was embarrassed as they walked him up to booking, and he tried to read the faces of his fellow officers. Most took no notice of him, making him feel unworthy and even more disgraced.
“Deeks, Martin A.,” the bored voice called out. “Stand in.”
He felt hollow and deeply saddened as he stood in front of the camera for his mug shot, but his anger flared again when they fingerprinted him like a common thief. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was a detective, dammit—an officer of the law. He had always prided himself on being the best cop he could be, but now all those years he’d served didn’t seem to matter. His stomach knotted with anxiety as distrust of the system began to cloud his mind. They were out to get him and he was alone and he was shaken.
His anger simmered as they closed the door to the holding cell behind him, leaving him with the scum he usually put here. He sensed himself slipping into the persona of Max Gentry and other aliases he’d adopted in cells like this, but he was just fooling himself. This wasn’t an undercover assignment. This was the harsh reality of his life, and his guard went up. He thought he had escaped this life, but somehow he had made a mistake and it had yanked him back into the darkness he had escaped so long ago.
What would his mother think now? She didn’t deserve this disappointment. She’d suffered enough and now he was the one hurting her. For that he did feel guilty. She would come. He could count on her, but even though he knew Kensi would come too, he wasn’t sure what to expect from her. He was sure of his mother’s support, but Kensi would be tougher on him, deservedly so. When she’d promised she was all in, she couldn’t have expected this. He’d revealed so little of himself. Was he afraid she wouldn’t want him if he revealed more? Would she believe him if he did? His confidence wavered as he fought to control his emotions, and the shadows of doubt clutching at his heart.
Nothing was certain now. All bets were off.
Lindy D. (Sweet Lu) is a contributor and assistant editor for wikiDeeks.
Check out her other wikiDeeks works HERE.
You can also find more of her great stories on FanFiction.net.
Oh, you have to continue this! You are such a wonderful writer. I only wish I could write half as well as you do.
Wow. I started reading without seeing who wrote this. After the second sentence, I stopped and went back to the title and author line knowing it had to be you, Sweet Lu. You have a way with words that suck me into your stories.
Wow, amazing insight into what Deeks is going through. His thoughts and beliefs on the contrasting reactions between his mom and Kensi to this turn of events is sad. After all his years of service to LAPD, to be treated as a common criminal is sobering and realistic. The feeling of being alone permeates throughout….great job noting that Deeks always had the comfort of his team in his ear surrounding him and the ultimate comfort of Kensi by his side. That feeling of invincibility stripped from him….wow. Awesome storytelling. Thank you for a great start to my day!
This was just an incredible story . I loved how you portrayed Deeks , his emotions, his fear, and his insecurities. You did an outstanding job with this piece. It touches me so, because this is how I also see Deeks and you can actually translate that into words. Thank you for this story.
Powerful storytelling, but from you we’ve come to expect no less. You’ve done it again. Just stunning.
Thanks to all for your kind words. That arrest scene was so compelling and full of restrained emotions I just had to explore it from Deeks’ point of view. I may write more, but think I’ll wait to see what happens next…that promo is chilling.
Thank you Sweet Lu! Wonderful As Always! 💗
Doubting Deeks is the one who drives me the craziest! He’s the one I feel the strong urge to comfort and reassure, and you captured him so well. Loved this story.
I liked your Deeks, the way you were able to portray him with his typical insecurities and fears.
Your style is a guarantee. Thanks for sharing this story with us.
Awesome Sweet Lu ! (as you always are ! :)). Seeing the 7×10 promo saddened me a lot. No dount you will find something “inspiring” for a new Wonderful story.
You’re killing me, dude.
I love to think that in difficult situations, he slips in and out of these personas he’s made up, only to be left with the real Deeks.
Great fic, thanks.
So visceral! Thanks for such a great description of the roller coaster ride Deeks is on for this episode. It’s so sweet that he’s worried about his mom and Kensi.
You are all too kind in your praise, but it is incredibly encouraging. This site is such a great forum to air our feelings about our favorite character. Now we all have to wait to see how the team gets him out of this and what their true feelings are…Callen still has me worried.