It Was One of Those Days: Deeks’ Surf Log 5/3/22

Did you ever have one of those days? All day long I was chasing my tail trying to keep all the plates spinning at the same time. Boy was I was glad to see Kensi at the end of the day. As much as I was frustrated over having to keep our social worker happy with all her demands for the pending adoption….it was Kilbride who really left me reeling.

I didn’t expect him to tell me his family story. Having worked with NCIS for almost 13 years now, I have witnessed how hard it is to serve your country and take care of your family at the same time. It took a lot for the man to admit he failed his wife and son. But how can you not speak to your child for 10 years? Granted, I have a unique perspective. I told him I wished I had the chance again to make things right with my dad, despite trying to kill him (not trying to be funny here). If we are being truthful with ourselves, we all want to love our parents and we continue to seek their approval no matter what they do to us. But when that bond is irrevocably broken, there’s definitely sadness, and disappointment, but above all anger. For a few seconds I was also angry that Kilbride refused to interact with his son. He could make this right again if he tried. But hell, who am I to judge? We all do the best we can, but I think sometimes, don’t we just have to try a little bit harder? I left the bullpen wondering if I tried hard enough with my dad. I guess I’ll never know. It’s too late for me….but not for Kilbride.

Driving home, our conversation left me completely unsettled. I was so relieved to see Kensi waiting for me at the door with a big smile and a cold bottle of Coors. Feeling her arms around me made me realize how lucky I am…. and in that moment all was right with the world.