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The Top 3 Deeks Rambles


A Marty Deeks who’s nervous or uncomfortable is often a Marty Deeks who rambles. These “incessant babbles,” as Snyder described them in “Wanted,” can be hilarious. But they can also be revealing, giving us a real time stream of consciousness glimpse of what he’s really thinking. These unedited thoughts frequently show us his sweet or vulnerable side. At the very least, they tell us what’s really on his mind.

The Premise

I should say that I don’t have a hard and fast definition of a “ramble.” I just know it when I see it. The only rule here is that we’re talking about Deeks. Other characters have been known to ramble, but none of them do it quite as charmingly as Eric Christian Olsen’s Deeks.

The Top 3

In reverse order of importance, my Top 3 is… 

#3. Discovering the sex dungeon in “Neighborhood Watch

Alright, Deeks’ reaction to seeing Brett and Polina’s sex dungeon is not revealing of his softer side. It’s just hilarious. It’s so well acted by Eric Christian Olsen that it feels completely improvised, although judging by the high quality of Christina M. Kim’s entire “Neighborhood Watch” script, I can only assume it was largely scripted. Right from the first moment, where he can’t even get “Raise your… hands” out of his mouth before he’s completely distracted (and who wouldn’t be?), every line is delivered perfectly.

Deeks: Actually, I would like to know what you were thinking. I mean, mostly out of professional curios-… I can read it in the report… Listen, Brett, you do some good work. I mean, this is some fine, fine, fine craftsmanship. As much as I would like to stay, ’cause I really would like to stay. [To Polina] I see you… Rain check. 

#2. Talking about trust with Sam and Callen in “Bounty

Dave Kalstein’s “Bounty” opens with a Deeks and Kensi bickering about the lack of trust in their partnership, and a lecture from Sam about the importance of gaining that trust. By the end, Deeks has opened up to Kensi by offering to let her hold his gun, an important moment in their partnership. But the final scene, where Deeks shows Sam and Callen that he’s taken Sam’s words to heart, is one that features a sweetly sincere, albeit rambling, Deeks. Sadly he’s rambling about a fictional story Hetty made up to teach Densi a lesson, so Sam and Callen don’t take him seriously. Even so, Deeks is the star of this scene, both for his comic babbling and his genuine effort to have a serious moment with the older agents.

Deeks: No, I just, what I, what I wanted to say is that I heard about whole 2007 New Year’s Day and with the Armenian mob and they came in and dragged… This actually went better in my head. I’m derailing. Let me finish. Uh, I have a lot of admiration for the trust that you two have in each other… That’s it… OK. Uh, good night. 

#1. The Shaolin monk/young bull/charismatic cheetah talk with Hetty in “Unwritten Rule

I don’t want to like this episode, written by Joseph C. Wilson and Jordana Lewis Jaffe, what with the “let’s take away Deeks’ bike” storyline. I don’t even want to like this scene, given Hetty’s refusal to say more than a few words (and nothing reassuring). But the episode still sits on my DVR, largely because of the opening scene of Deeks on his bike (swoon) and for this spectacular ramble. It reveals a Deeks who’s still struggling to move past his traumatic experience at the hands of Sidorov. His vehement defense of his current health, both physical and mental, is so over the top that we know he’s hiding the shakiness underneath. Plus there’s the big slip about Kensi’s importance to his “emotional center.” He’s funny, sweet, and vulnerable, with additional points for sheer length, which is it earns the top spot as my #1 Ramble.

Deeks: My head is right, I’m feeling good. You know, feeling strong. I could rock out 50 burpies for you right now if you asked me to.
Hetty: How’s your heart?
Deeks: My heart? My heart’s great! Are you kidding me? I’m running sub-five, 30 miles, I got a new road bike, thinking about doing the Malibu Ironman. I’m like a…I’m like a Shaolin monk with a… with a young bull, mixed with, like, a very charismatic cheetah.
Hetty: I meant your emotional center…
Deeks: Okay, all right, let’s just say for the sake of argument that I do follow you. Then, I would say that it’s fine. I’d say that it’s better than fine. I’d say it’s phenomenal. I mean, you heard what I said about the Shaolin monk, right? With the cheetah?… Okay. I understand that you worry about me more than the others. Um, that’s mostly because I’m your favorite. Obviously. Don’t say otherwise. It’ll break my heart. But I want you to know that I’m great. I’m actually… I’m better than great. Kensi’s great.
Hetty: I see.
Deeks: What do you mean, you, you see? Why, did Kensi say something other than that? Because if she said something that contrasted to that, I think it’s because, at this point, well, it’s, it’s difficult to explain. I think it’s personal feelings at…Now… Wow. No. I’m not gonna fall for this. I’m not one of your other little minions. I’m not gonna fall for your Jedi mind tricks.

Also in the Running

Some other excellent rambles that didn’t quite make the Top 3:

  • Talking about his talkativeness in “The Job” (Frank Military, Christina M. Kim): What? Was that, uh, that aimed at me? Are you saying that I talk too much? Is that what you’re implying, here? Because, uh, I’ve never got that complaint before. Actually, people say that I don’t talk enough. They say, “You’re really charming. You should talk more. You should double down with that talking, ‘cause…” I’m gonna shut up.
  • Getting a job offer from Hetty in “Imposters” (R. Scott Gemmill): This is for me? You want me to…read it…You want me to resign? Well, I-I thought I was doing a good job. Wait. Is this about your Segway? Because if I…
  • Distracting the bad guy with some furry accomplices in “Dragon and the Fairy” (Joe Sachs): Hey, come on, get back, come here! I’m so sorry, he got away from me sir. The leash actually broke. I’m so sorry, we were doing some special Pavlovian training and there was some sort of movement in the underbrush, there was some sort of a hedgehog, maybe a rabbit they were running after. I’m so sorry… Monty what are you doing to the nice… No no! Oh, Blackhawk down! I’m so sorry… Rusty, sit down for a second. I’m not going to tolerate your insubordinance! Stop barking! Monty, I’ve got kibble. Uh oh! Oh, I just dropped it all over your face. Monty get away or I will pepper spray you. I’m trying sir. Ohhhh, that’s my bad, I’m so sorry sir. Believe me, it’s totally my fault… Hey, it’s an ice cream truck! That’s gonna wear off, you’ll be fine. Monty, you wanna fudgecicle?, huh, Monty?… Let’s go- fudgcicle!- kitty! Good boy, alright, let’s go hit on some poodles.
  • Defending his overheard monologue about his courtroom performance in “Savoir Faire” (Jordana Lewis Jaffe): Hey, so just for the record, to clarify… I wasn’t really, I wasn’t talking to myself… earlier, when I was… that was, kind of, an inner monologue, that I then said out loud, subsequently, which kind of defeats the purpose, but um… Guys?
  • Mistakenly telling Kensi about eloping in “Cancel Christmas” (Joseph C. Wilson): I think we have to elope…What? No. I mean, go off alone and spend the holidays alone. Not alone, together. But alone. Not other people there, just you and I.
  • Talking about tattoos with Kirkin’s bodyguard in “Wanted” (R. Scott Gemmill): I like your tattoos. I mean, I don’t mean, like I like your tattoos, I just mean that I appreciate their artistic merit because I myself was thinking about getting a tattoo, you know, like a unicorn, except like a really badass unicorn that’s breathing fire and he’s got nunchucks and stuff… I just thought that would be a good idea…
  • Trying to get out of a push-up contest with Sam in “Dead Body Politic” (Jordana Lewis Jaffe): Easy Wonder Twins, you’re scaring the old folks… No. I don’t, obviously, I don’t mean old, I mean older. And I don’t mean that from a physical standpoint because obviously you’re… I mean that from a metaphysical standpoint, because you have a much more mature spirit. 

It’s so interesting to see which writers emerge on each Top 3 list. I can see here that Jordana Lewis Jaffe and Christina M. Kim write a nicely rambling Deeks. And R. Scott Gemmill, who dominated my list of Densi Banter and made many contributions to Deeks’ cheekiest moments, only shows up once here. He apparently doesn’t see Deeks quite the same way (or maybe I’ve left some examples off my list?).

Next Week

Next week we’ll switch gears, going from words- lots of rambling words- to actions! We’ll discuss our Top 3 examples of Action!Deeks.

In the meantime, which instances of Rambling Deeks made your Top 3? What examples did I miss altogether?

Or, return to last week’s Top 3, the Top 3 Cheekiest Moments.


About Karen (287 Articles)
wikiDeeks Writer & Assistant Editor. I never wrote for fun before... until my ECO-obsession. Now I love to analyze any and all aspects of the best character on television.

8 Comments on The Top 3 Deeks Rambles

  1. I liked your list, Karen, and all the moments you included are great examples of Deeks rambles.
    I have already “used” your number one of “Unwritten rule” in the Top Three Deeks and Hetty Talks because, like you, I enjoyed the scene so much but also thought that what made it great was not only Deeks rambling but especially his interaction with Hetty. I think Linda played a major role in that scene with her few sentences.

    This is my list for today’s Top Three.

    3) Humbug, 6×11, Mammoth
    Probably it was not what you would call real Deeks’ rambling but I enjoyed the scene in “Humbug” where he invited Kensi to Mammoth with him, the highlight being “There’s a great hotel up there that takes dogs if you want to come”. It didn’t come out as the best invitation, did it? Luckily after some hours they went “All in”.

    2) Praesidium 6×03, Tweedledee and Tweedledum
    I know it may not be the perfect example of “rambling”, but Deeks talking to the DoJ goons while Kensi is being asked about the White Ghost mission in Afghanistan and when she finishes with the interrogation, has always been one of my favorite moments of “Praesidium”, one of the many situations in which Deeks uses humor to defuse tension, pretending to know where the bodies are buried and the recipes with herbs and spices!

    1) Red (part 1) 4×18, It’s not what it looks like
    Deeks holding the box, thinking it’s Kensi’s (back in the time when the box still had its appeal):
    DEEKS: No, this is not what it looks like. KENSI: Looks like a man holding a box. DEEKS: An innocent man. I have witnesses. Listen, it was addressed to you, so I was taking it back to you. Which obviously looks like I took it. But I didn’t take it. It was put there. Accidentally, maybe, on purpose. And now I’m stuck holding…your box. Wow…


  2. This one’s tough but I’ll play.

    1. “Internal Affairs” (Chad Mazero and R. Scott Gemmill) – Pick a scene, any scene. Trying to talk Steadman out of killing them up to “JUMP!”. With Bates and his porn ‘stache.

    2. “Wanted” (R. Scott Gemmill): I like your tattoos. I mean, I don’t mean, like I like your tattoos, I just mean that I appreciate their artistic merit because I myself was thinking about getting a tattoo, you know, like a unicorn, except like a really badass unicorn that’s breathing fire and he’s got nunchucks and stuff… I just thought that would be a good idea…

    3&4 “Active Measures” Party Marty. and, shoot, I can’t remember or find the episode but when Kensi and Deeks went undercover at the gym and the “cougar” was coming on to him and turned out to be a prostitute that he helped. …. Argh, I hate that I can’t remember.


    • Excellent job peakae, and I’m glad I could challenge you. 😉

      Wanted is so full of awesomeness that it’s probably made more of my Top 3 lists than any other episode. Love that whole bath house sequence. And I think the gym scene was SEAL Hunter, one of my guilty pleasure favorite episodes. He’s fantastic in that scene.


  3. The monkey poo coffee conversation in “internal Affairs” always is a winner for me. After hearing ECO mention in the DVD commentary that he purposely hurried its delivery because he liked it so and wanted to save it while the episode was running long just confirmed how great he knew it was.

    In “San Voir” when Deeks is talking to Kensi about the different terrible hotel rooms he’s worked. It was a great way to distract her – even she knew that’s what he was doing and he appreciated it.

    I’m with you on the “Neighborhood Watch” scene.


    • Good ones, Tess! That Sans Voir example is so Deeks, trying to defuse the tension and unable to sit quietly by while Kensi is so sad. Love it.


  4. The Shaolin monk ramble in Unwritten Rule is my all time favorite. It made me adore Deeks even more and root for him. There is a sweetness about it, almost a sense of innocence. ECO does Rambling Deeks so well that you feel his nervousness in that scene as he tries to convince Hetty he is back to normal. When she says nothing, he simply babbles more to cover the silence, which has become canon for Deeks. I’m sure most of it was scripted, but I am convinced he ad libbed a few little comments of his own while doing that scene…and if I had to pick the line he added it would be the comment after “Cause I’m your favorite” where he says “Don’t say overwise or it will break my heart.”

    I also love the Russian Spa scene when he is making his way across the pool to Kirkin. I read somewhere that there was no scripted dialog for that scene, just direction that he cross the pool. That was the episode Chris O’Donnell directed and he apparently was surprised when ECO just started improving, and actually asked someone if this happened very often, which of course it probably does. I don’t know how many times they did that scene, but I would love to see all the different improves he did.

    Thanks for this Karen…Deeks’ rambling gets a smile out of me every time.


    • Thanks Lindy. That spa scene is classic. I think I remember them talking (on the DVD commentary?) about how COD told the extra to try to rub up against ECO as he walked past him. I’m pretty sure his discomfort was more than just acting. Such a great scene.


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