“Are you happy?”
Deeks is half-asleep, snuggled up behind Kensi in bed when she asks the question.
“Of course I’m happy,” he mumbles without much thought. Kensi turns over in his arms, rubbing at his chest until he squeezes his eyes open.
“Hey, I’m serious,” she says, and he can hear it in her voice. This is more than just a casual check-in before they both pass out. He drags his hands over his face and through his hair, trying to wake up enough to be an active participant in the conversation.
“Where’s this coming from? Have I done something that makes you think I’m not happy?”
“No…” Kensi distractedly draws a nebulous pattern over his chest. Her face is shadowed in the dim room, but she seems deep in thought. “It’s just that a lot has changed this year. And sometimes you get this distant look where you seem… I don’t know, pensive.”
“A lot has changed,” Deeks agrees. “A lot of great stuff I didn’t even think was possible a few years ago.”
“Yeah, but it’s not quite what we imagined,” Kensi reminds him. “We talked about having kids,” she pauses, licking her bottom lip before she continues. “Other things, and most of that didn’t end up happening.”
Deeks is fully awake now. He could brush Kensi’s concerns off, appease her with a few words, and pretend this conversation never happened. He sees her brows furrow the longer he takes to respond.
“You’re right, our life looks a lot different than what I picture and what we planned. Some days are beyond chaotic and stressful.” Kensi’s eyes fall and he tips her chin up, adding, “But two years ago, we didn’t have our own home, my livelihood looked very uncertain, and we were worried about our finances. Now both of those are pretty secure, we have a house, and Kensi, we have the most amazing, brilliant, gorgeous daughter.”
He curls his fingers around Kensi’s jaw, kissing her softly. “And I have you. I couldn’t ask for more.”
Kensi smiles, her eyes glittering in the dark.
“Yeah, we’re pretty lucky,” she murmurs. Her hands loop around his waist, and she settles into his chest. “I wouldn’t want to share this life, chaos and all, with anyone else.”