The ring was perfect, beautiful, forever ingrained in her mind after the few glimpses she had and God, she had to hold herself from asking for it, asking him to slide it down her finger, but truthfully, the want to actually say yes to him half the motivation in every step she struggled to take, working towards the life she’d imagined.
It was nothing like what she imagined, nothing like the ones he’d teased her with by leaving up open tabs on their laptop, an engagement gun actually making an appearance once.
“You ready to go in,” Deeks observed, watching her drain the last drops of her sickeningly sweet coffee, exactly her order, a bright, and sweet, spot to look forward to for his visits.
“No, I’m good, can you stay longer?”
“Of course,” he chuckled, lightly shrugging. “I’ll blame it on the traffic.”
Lifting a hand, Kensi ran the pad of her index finger over the table top, nail skipping in each groove, the small breeze teasing her ponytail and the shock over how good, relaxed, maybe even happy she felt molding into acceptance, accept the good moments, live in them, remember they can exist when the bad ones take over. “I’m sorry the whole white horse and rose petals thing didn’t work out, I probably would have enjoyed that.”
“More like loved it,” he sniffed, forced back laughter threatening to curve his lips. “There wasn’t a solid plan, I just knew I wanted, want, to spend the rest of my life with you. Because we were-“ pausing to capture a breath, he smiled, eyes automatically meeting hers and hand reflexively reaching for the ring stowed away in his pocket.
“We moved into the new place, you were throwing a fit because the boxes weren’t labeled properly, but Princess, you had the sharpie on packing day, and kept talking about painting all the walls, and I wanted to ask, just didn’t have the diamond yet.”
“I still want to paint those walls.”
“We’ll do it together.”
Forcing the expected eye roll, Kensi shifted the beat she could in the small, obnoxious chair. “I just want my bed back, and real food.”
“Funny how takeout in Styrofoam containers with health warnings is real food now.”
“And you’ll be happy to know Sam and Callen were planning on bringing you some of that real food tonight, and Sam is expecting a hug.”
He left her with a light kiss to her forehead and another to her lips, a promise to return later, getting a promise from her that she wouldn’t once again force him from her room, ordering him to a full night’s sleep and to use the sleeping pills in her nightstand drawer.
He left her with a smile lining her lips for the first time in weeks.