So Proud! Kensi’s Journal 01/17/21

1/17/21

I would never complain about having Deeks back earlier than expected, but I’m disappointed that I didn’t get to see him graduate with his class. Not to mention pissed that Hetty made Deeks believe he’d washed out of the program just so she could surprise him the way she did.  I don’t think she knew how much Deeks struggled physically and emotionally while he was at FLETC, but participating in the graduation ceremony, receiving his badge in front of his classmates, shaking hands with and accepting the congratulations of the director of DHS, and hearing me yell my head off from the audience when his name was called would have been quite a boon to his wounded ego.  The more I think about what he missed, the angrier I get at Hetty for robbing him of that experience, and the more impressed I am with Deeks for maintaining his calm when he pulled his badge out of her desk drawer.  It was probably only the combination of the pain, exhaustion, and relief he was feeling that kept him from raging at Hetty when he described her actions as savage, inhumane, and messed up.  It might not have had the same punch, but I’m proud of him for saying it anyway.

Thanks to our meddlesome operations manager, not only did Deeks miss his graduation, but we didn’t get our cross-country road trip either.  Granted, given Deeks’ ribs we might have cancelled the drive back home anyway (so maybe I can’t fault Hetty for that) but I was really looking forward to that time together.  Just the two of us, the humming of the pavement beneath our wheels, the beautiful views around us, and time to talk about anything and everything except during the mandatory silent miles (who am I kidding, the only quiet I would have gotten is during pit stops).  Once the painkillers I forced him to take wear off and Deeks wakes up, I need to ask if he wants me to take my days off now so I can stay home and baby him a little bit or if I should reschedule them for after he heals so we can pursue more “active” celebratory endeavors together. 😉

In any event, and despite my current feelings toward Hetty, I’m glad I finally have my husband and partner back right where he belongs—with me.