Drabble of the Week: Shattered

4 missed calls.

11 unanswered texts.

Cursing under his breath, he tossed his phone across the foyer, startling Monty just as much as he had when he burst through the doorway a moment before, but God, the cell was useless to him silent, useless when the one place he desperately needed to be he was banned from, when the one voice he needed to hear wouldn’t say a word in response, wouldn’t answer a damn text.

Heart pounding, he braced his back against their front door, allowing himself to slide to the ground, sinking to his heels and tears still biting his eyes.

Too much, just too damn much.

Too much they’d been through already to let this break them now; too much filling this day already without these conversations leaping into the picture.

Too many differences in their eyes, their plans for a life together.

Seemingly a thousand times they had the conversation, always beginning with his words, prompting her to envision a future he so clearly saw, craved, one that gave them everything.

It always ended with her, gently kissing him and shyly meeting his eyes, promising to think it over, promising it truly was what she wanted too.

But God, he could never truly walk away, never give her an ultimatum like she assumed today, not letting him explain that committing to a future together when they had no clue what that future looked like wasn’t the wisest.

Could never walk away when the one thing that was certain was he had no future without her.

If they weren’t doomed already now.

When her ringtone started across the room, it was a panicked rush to get to his thrown phone and press the green button before she decided better and hung up.

“Baby?”

“I said I’d call before I got on the plane and –“

“Kens, no-“

“I’ll see you in a couple days, Deeks,” pausing briefly he heard her swallow heavily, an attempt to stop her voice from breaking. It didn’t work. “We can talk then.”

“Kensi-“

He almost threw the phone again when she hung up.

Instead he was dialing the number of an old LAPD buddy three seconds later, slinging his go bag over his shoulder as he moved out the door again.

Plans be damned, he would make sure she had a future first.