That Hurt! Kensi’s Journal 2/28/21

2/28/21

I really appreciate Deeks’ willingness to be involved in my fertility treatment in any way he can, and I know he meant it when he said it’s worse for him to give an injection than get one.  Even though I had to walk him through this first time (if he’d been able to do it one-handed, I probably would have held his hand as well), he did ultimately give me the shot.  This one hurt more than it should have (yes, I lied), but I’m sure that as Deeks gets comfortable with it I’ll barely feel a thing.  It’s sweet that he was so concerned about causing me pain, but what does he think labor and delivery will be like?  Even with all the best drugs available (which I’m not sure I’ll opt to use—seriously, I have seen the size of an epidural needle!), I’m anticipating that giving birth will be a pretty painful experience.  I probably won’t remind Deeks of that fact until after we conceive, though.

I know Dr. Renner said I might suffer from some side effects, but I guess I was in denial and really didn’t think I’d have any.  Or at least not so soon.  I hope Deeks is right and today’s dizziness was just my body adjusting to the hormones because I didn’t like having to choose between being a liability in the field and staying behind in ops while Deeks was in the field.  The good news is that it didn’t last too long and I was able to be there for the main event.  While we’re not ready for everyone at work to know about my treatments (bless Deeks for thinking to tell Fatima that I threw my back out—but next time he should tell me too), I’m glad I confided in Nell.  Not just because she should know as our operations manager, but because I want her to know as my friend.  And her response didn’t disappoint.  It’ll be good to have someone else to lean on, especially once the mood swings begin.  I figure it’s got to be better to spread them out between Deeks and Nell than dump them all on my poor hubby.