wikiDeeks News Ticker

Living In a Dark Place: Kensi’s Journal 3/5/23

I really misjudged the chief petty officer today.  Messing up like that makes me wonder if it’s time to start seriously thinking about hanging up my badge.  Or at least becoming more aware of when my emotions are running so high that they might interfere with my judgement.  Because even if that poor petty officer didn’t commit suicide, two others on that ship recently did, and that’s something to be upset about.  While I can’t say I’ve actively thought about ending my own life, I still remember the dark place I was in when I didn’t think I’d regain enough mobility to return to the life I loved.  When I thought I’d be a burden to Deeks for the rest of our lives (because I knew he’d never leave me then, even if he wanted to).  I never went so far as to make a plan, but I clearly recall wishing at times that I’d left Syria in a body bag because it had to be better than my “life” as it was then.  How wrong I was.  Not only because I made a full recovery, but because of course I could have still had a full and meaningful life even if the rest of it was spent in a wheelchair.  I lost sight of the fact that nearly all problems are temporary, but death isn’t.  I just wish those two sailors, and the approximately 132 other people who commit suicide every day, had realized that too and found help in time.

About Psyched (89 Articles)
Turns out I've been writing fan fiction since before it was a "thing" on the internet (okay, even before there was an internet). I spent many a boring junior high history class coming up with more exciting stories for my favorite soap opera characters. I continue to enjoy the creative outlet it provides in my still-boring but now adult life.

1 Comment on Living In a Dark Place: Kensi’s Journal 3/5/23

  1. This reminded me of when Deeks tried to propose to Kensi when she was in the wheel chair and she said it wouldn’t be fair to him if she couldn’t get out of the chair, but then later on when he was seriously hurt in Mexico, she vowed she could and would carry him for the rest of his life.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: