It hit me today during the orientation that Deeks and I have a much higher hill to climb in order to adopt than I originally thought. Before today I was only concerned with having to make a good impression on the adoption agency staff who decide whether or not we’d be good parents. But now I realize we also have to compete with all the other prospective parents who are also hoping to be accepted by an adoption agency. Not to mention all the people who have already been accepted by agencies all over the city and are still waiting for a child to become available. How many children are put up for adoption every year compared with the number of people waiting to give them a home? Adoption is beginning to seem like as much of a long shot as getting pregnant is. Maybe there’s a reason this is such a struggle for us. I mean, I have no idea how Deeks and I can expect to give children the love and attention they deserve if we can’t even make it through an informational meeting about adopting them.
Okay, enough–I need to stop this spiraling. Time to take a few deep breaths and remember what Deeks said tonight: we need to stop letting fear dictate our path to being parents. It might not be the way we ever imagined, but we’ll get there eventually.