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Debating Deeks: Why Do Fools Fall In Love? The age old question for Densi on NCISLA.


Welcome to another edition of Debating Deeks! This time we asked the question:  When did Kensi and Deeks fall in love and who fell first? wikiDeeks staff writers, Lindy and Karen S. had some pretty specific ideas as to the answers behind the Densi love story. So why do fools fall in love?? Let's hear what they have to say...

Karen:  I think it was probably a different time for each of them. I'll start with Kensi. I think she was very intrigued by him when they first met but her competitive nature made getting to know him harder than it should have been. He called her a 'one upper' and despite her protests it was obvious that she initially thought she was the better operator in the beginning. As time went on, she realized that he was better than her initial perceptions but wouldn't admit it to him or to anyone else. It was too easy to pick on him. By the time he rescues her in "Deliverance" she admires him and the trust between the two is complete but I still don't think she has admitted to herself that there may be real feelings between the two of them.

Lindy:  I think Kensi was surprised that she was attracted to him at all in the beginning. She was put off by him, annoyed by him and being in a male dominated field, she certainly wanted to prove she was better than him in everything. She has to be in control. What tripped her up was that he easily ceded that to her, without losing any respect for himself. I think that surprised her and made her curious that he still pushed her and flirted, not resenting her need to dominate and happy for her when she was successful. That kind of support is addicting. Not only did she start to respect his skills, but slowly began to like him.

Karen:  In my opinion, she gets her first wake up call to her feelings when he is gunned down in “Personal”. Again she tries to ignore them but when he is fired in “The Debt” she can’t even deny them to Hetty who asks her point blank if there is more to their relationship than just a ‘good partners.’ We see even more evidence of her feelings when she calls Deeks in “Blye, K.” just to hear his voice before she attempts a confrontation that may lead to her death. In “Neighborhood Watch” she allows herself to see what a normal life would feel like and she admits to him that she likes it. Her obvious jealousy of other women in his life is shown in several episodes from Nicole in “Plan B.”, Eva in “Sacrifice” and especially Monica in “Parley.” By the time “Descent” rolls around in Season 4, she is obviously trying to get him to admit his feelings which he is very reluctant to do.

Lindy:  I must say, I never liked her measured response to his shooting at the beginning of “Personal”. It became more about her and possibly losing another partner than about concern for him. I thought her reaction was rather cold. They did learn more about each other during his stay in the hospital, and by the end, I think she realized just what a great partner she had, when he saved her life. In “Plan B” she discovered she really didn’t know him at all, and apparently neither did the rest of us. A pleasant surprise all around. He, on the other hand, was quick to tell his old friend Ray that she was “just his partner”. Now whether he really thought that or was just putting Ray off is a good question. What isn’t in doubt was Kensi’s response to his kissing Nicole. She was jealous and even Callen could see she was affected. Maybe that was when she realized her feelings for her partner went a little deeper than she wanted them to. At the end, though, she jokes about Ray’s comment that they have “a thing”, and he says there is no “thing”. He is definitely in denial and she just thinks it’s funny.

Karen:  I think his feelings for Kensi are all over the place. Probably some of his initial feelings were probably more to do with lust than actual love. While he probably wanted to sleep with her, his respect for her and the job were enough to deter him.  It didn’t deter him from his teasing and mildly inappropriate innuendo. Truthfully, if she didn’t like it and dish it right back, a sexual harassment case could probably be made. I think his first battle with actual feelings was when he thought she had been blown up in “The Job”. In “The Debt” he did his best to make sure that she didn’t confess her feelings because he knew it would be a disaster when she found out it was all pretend. When he actually admitted there was a ‘thing’ he quickly let her know he didn’t want to talk about it. He was mostly in denial but I think he actually realized he was a goner in “Blye, K.” He wanted to help her but she wouldn’t let him and I think his frustration and anxiety were off the charts. He also liked their situation in “Neighborhood Watch” even though he didn’t admit it. He was obviously disappointed when it was over.

Lindy:  Deeks has always been a womanizer. He loves flirting with almost every woman he meets and in the beginning, he treated Kensi no differently. Humor and sexual innuendo is part of his makeup. He just can’t seem to help himself. Where do things change between them? That is difficult to discern. Was he attracted to her from the beginning? Undoubtedly. He thought she was hot and would have put a move on her if she hadn’t been his partner and after what happened to Jess Traynor, I doubt he wanted to go there again. He understood the trap and seemed to want to protect himself from that kind of heartache again. Not sure he was in love with Trainor, but I believe he did have intimate relations with her and cared deeply for her and her for him. That pain of loss is hard to forget.

Karen:  His jealousy of her and the soldier in “Free Ride” was also obvious but all of his deflection and avoidance came to a screeching halt when he realized that she knew about his undercover relationship with Monica in “Parley.” He was trying to be careful of her feelings but he realized it was too late. When Kensi brought her up again in “Descent” he decided it was time to show her how he really felt. Since he’s not good with talking about his emotions, he decided that showing her was his best option. The kiss in that episode affected him just as much as it did her and I think it really surprised him. At the dinner in the French restaurant you can see his nervousness when he tells her he wants to be with her. It could end badly and he knows it but takes the risk anyway. His raw feelings were there for everyone to see in “Spoils of War”, and when he sees the picture of Kensi dead, the tears in his eyes and the anger are hard to handle. When he sees her hugging Jack the pain on his face is evident. His decision to take a step back I think is more about his lack of confidence in himself and that he thinks he will screw it up.

Lindy:  By the time we reach “The Debt”, they are both feeling more, but neither willing to voice it, or give in to it. He is feeling guilty about deceiving her and she is unwilling to admit to Hetty that she has deep feelings for him. However, as mad as she becomes at his deception, her concern for him during this episode was there for all of us to see. When she realizes he may be blown up, she charges straight for him with no thought for her own safety.

The “Blye” story arc shows us how worried Deeks is for her. He fights to prove her innocence and lets her know in no uncertain terms that he never for one second believed what she was accused of. Again, that support had to touch her deeply. Her phone call to him was so poignant, and revealed her need for him and his steadfast support. His admiration for her at the end was palpable and he must have realized how much she meant to him.

Then there was “Neighborhood Watch” and their journey into uncharted territory. They were obviously sleeping in the same bed, and that must have made things interesting, not that we got to see any of it. I thought they had some interesting conversations, but it was more of a light-hearted comedy than an intimate exploration of their feelings they might have for each other. The best scene was their remembrance of when they first met and the clothes they wore. It meant a great deal to Kensi, when he described her outfit. She almost giggled and was obviously thrilled. The kiss she planted on him, shocked the hell out of him and I’m sure he got a glimpse at what being with her would feel like. It certainly had to tantalize him. Did he love her then? Not so sure. Intrigued? Yes, but still putting up barriers, as was she. I think he started to want her after that, though and I think that scared him.

I think the moment Deeks realizes that he loves her is in the last scene in the boat shed with Sabatino at the end of “Wanted”. She might realize her feelings then as well, telling him not to ever get himself killed. When he kids her about his possible death and she leaves, he shouts out she reminds him of “sunshine and gunpowder” and the look on his face after that comment is the moment he realizes he’s in love with her.

They continued their dance of denial until that kiss on the hill. Deeks wanted her to know how he felt and was tired of not expressing it. She was the one shocked this time and then that disaster of a finale when it all went to hell.

“It’s a love story”. The best line ever written about their relationship. We are given a hint that they consummated their love and she agrees to talk about “their thing” and then she is gone. The devastation on Deeks’ face at the end of “The Frozen Lake” let all of us know just how much he loved her and his actions in Afghanistan confirmed it. She is the world to him, but is he brave enough to act on his feelings. While she seems to be willing, maybe he is not. Why? Maybe we’ll find out next season. Oh the agony of waiting and holding out hope.

What do you think? When did Kensi and Deeks fall in love with each other and who fell first? Leave us your comments… we want to know!


LindyLindy D. (Sweet Lu) is a contributor at

Karen S. (Kadiedid) is a contributor at
Follow her on Twitter: @KDHS01

About Diane (436 Articles)
Founder, Writer and Contributing Editor of wikiDeeks. Always wanted to put together a talented team of writers and graphic designers who loved NCISLA and Marty Deeks in particular! My dream came true! Hope you enjoy what we have created!

4 Comments on Debating Deeks: Why Do Fools Fall In Love? The age old question for Densi on NCISLA.

  1. Nice discussion! You gave me a lot to consider. I think there are slightly different questions- when did they each fall in love, and when did they each realize that they were in love. I agree that that moment at the end of Wanted might be where Deeks’ love for Kensi really hit him full force, but for me, Season 3 is where they both actually fell for one another. I think The Debt and Blye, K are two episodes that bookend one another in a lot of ways. And one of those ways is that in The Debt, Kensi worried about Deeks so much that we at least could see (as Hetty did) that she had serious feelings for Deeks. Then in Blye, K, the roles are reversed and in his worry, we see how much Deeks feels for Kensi.

    And you are right about the agony of waiting, and continuing to hope for the best for these two!


  2. This was a great discussion! You both brought up some excellent points and very much supported the suggestions of when they might have fallen in love, and when they might have realized it. I think like Karen said above, the falling and realizing can easily be at different times. I’ve always thought they both fell quite awhile ago. But the knowing they are in love is still perhaps a little murky for them. They spend a lot of time denying to others and to themselves how they really feel, which is maddening for us and seems confusing to them! It’s a fun thing to think about, and there’s so much good material out there to draw from.


  3. Discussion is fantastic, like always, thank you.
    But you both miss one important point.

    “What do you think? When did Kensi and Deeks fall in love with each other and who fell first? Leave us your comments… we want to know!”

    They fall in love both in same moment.
    It was in gym, when they first time met.
    They confirmet it in S03E22 Neighborhood Watch

    And why they fall in love?
    Because that is in the script… 😉

    I fell in love in Densi, because is nice progress, and they still move on.
    Hete is very tiny line, between love, and hate.
    If writers give to us too much teasing, and nothing more, I will turn to hate.

    We will see, I can’t wait.


  4. Fantastic discussion😊😊😊. One of my favorite topics to discuss.

    My vote for that magic moment was in the MMA gym. Even though the conversation was filled with skepticism and challenge from Deeks, it left both of them unable to forget about each other. The expressions on their faces sold me, not necessarily the dialogue. Since this is their first encounter, I am not sure if that was intended by the writers to allow Deeks/ECO to enter the story/cast or whether it was truly the chemistry between the actors that sold me.
    As for who fell first, I say simultaneously when they laid eyes on each other. I know, ever the romantic😊😊😊


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