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The Top 3 Densi Communications


They are both terrible communicators, but somehow Deeks and Kensi make their thing work. They may have struggled over the years to say what they really mean, but that’s not to say they haven’t had a few breakthrough moments of topnotch communication. Some of them involved words, some merely very demonstrative actions.

The Premise

This is a Top 3 of Densi scenes where the duo managed to communicate something important. I found myself considering both the emotion and entertainment value of the way the communication was carried out, as well as the impact of that communication on their relationship.

The Top 3

I ended up with two scenes where Deeks and Kensi used actual words to communicate, and one where the actions spoke loudly enough to land a spot. In reverse order of importance, my Top 3 is…

#3. Deeks offering Kensi his gun in “Bounty

For me, the driving theme of Kensi and Deeks’ relationship has always been trust. They began their partnership with none, and over time they slowly came to trust one another. That trust grew to the point where Kensi had Deeks’ back during a murder investigation, and just as impressive, trusted him with her heart. One of their key early breakthroughs about trust comes at the end of “Bounty,” written by Dave Kalstein. The episode opens with Deeks refusing to let Kensi handle his gun. “It’s a guy thing,” he blurts out. But after some prompting from Hetty via a made-up story about Sam and Callen and the Armenian mob, Deeks realizes that something needs to give. He offers up his gun to Kensi in an act of clear communication, telling her without words that he trusts her with something important to him. She doesn’t take the gun, but the look on her face shows us, and Deeks, how well she understands his gesture. A couple episodes later she trusts him with her life in “Deliverance” and their thing evolves from there, but for me this scene in “Bounty” is a key first step.

#2. Kensi forgives Deeks for keeping secrets in “Cancel Christmas

Deeks kept his culpability in the death of Francis Boyle from everyone, including Kensi, right through the Internal Affairs investigation. This was a huge secret with the potential to tear their relationship apart, and it might have been a tempting direction for the showrunners to take with Densi. Instead, post-“Internal Affairs,” Deeks quickly comes clean to her (or “finally comes clean” depending on your point of view). Either way, Kensi surprises him by revealing that she already knew, and that she had waited for him to be ready to talk to her about it. Written by Joseph C. Wilson, it’s a beautiful little scene, with Deeks mentally prepared for Kensi’s wrath or sadness. Instead he gets her calm and loving forgiveness, arguably more than he deserves. She sets a “no more secrets” rule going forward and they kiss and move on to what I’d imagine was a very merry Christmas. It’s moving and sweet and a very adult conversation between two mature people. It’s a huge contrast to their preferred non-verbal communication in earlier seasons (see #3 above).

#1. The lighten up/take things more seriously talk in “Empty Quiver”

Another key element of Kensi and Deeks’ relationship has been its “opposites attract” nature. The specific quality in question in “Empty Quiver,” written by Dave Kalstein, is that of humor, or the lack thereof. Kensi is “the most serious person” Deeks has ever met. And Deeks “never takes anything seriously,” according to Kensi. At the episode’s start, they both plead with Hetty to break up their partnership. By episode’s end, they both realize they have to give up just a little of themselves, and work at meeting the other partway, in order to make their partnership work. I love the way Deeks fondly looks on as Kensi tries to proclaim her ability to crack Nell up, but the key moment of communication here is when Deeks (as usual the first one to extend himself) tells Kensi, “In the future I will, uh, I will try to take things more seriously.” Kensi meets him halfway, saying, “Well I… I will try and lighten up.” It’s the first real commitment they’ve made to one another and a key moment in their relationship.

Also in the Running

  • The kiss in “Descent” (Frank Military): How’s that for communication?
  • The non-proposal proposal at end of “The Seventh Child” (Frank Military): Well is it too crazy for two people to get married?
  • The ambulance scene in “The Frozen Lake” (Dave Kalstein): We’re gonna figure this out. All we gotta do is talk about it.
  • The breakfast scene in “Command & Control” (Kyle Harimoto): Even before I met you, this is exactly how I wanted to feel
  • The end of “Ascension” (Frank Military): Your laugh, your smile… everything.
  • The end of “Wanted” (R. Scott Gemmill): Don’t… get yourself killed.
  • Hand-holding rehab in “Glasnost” (Andrew Bartels): Gimme that sexy little claw.
  • The end of “Recovery” (Gil Grant): I want to be at my place right now with you.
  • The frozen lake discussion in “The Frozen Lake” (Dave Kalstein): I’m standing on my frozen lake.

Next Week

In the next few weeks we’re moving into some darker territory, starting with The Top 3 Heartbreaking Moments. Ugh- I’m getting sad just thinking about it! OK, before we all get sad together, tell us your Top 3 Densi Communications in the Comments below!

Or go back to last week’s Top 3, The Top 3 Sexiest Scenes.

About Karen (287 Articles)
wikiDeeks Writer & Assistant Editor. I never wrote for fun before... until my ECO-obsession. Now I love to analyze any and all aspects of the best character on television.

14 Comments on The Top 3 Densi Communications

  1. Great topic, and great list! I would add anytime they talk (joke?) about having children (and look at the progression!) from Neighborhood Watch to Resurrection to The Seventh Child (there are probably one or two more, but those are the ones that come to mind right now). My list would probably move the breakfast scene from Command and Control to the Top 3 because it is so mature and such evidence of what a great place they’re in and how much they love each other: Deeks expresses concern that he can’t provide all the special extras in life that he might want Kensi to have and she allays that concern by telling him she’s had that, and all she wants is to be next to him every day and feel the way she makes him feel.


    • the breakfast scene in Command and Control would also be in my to 3.
      it is one of my favorites. it stands out even more because it was sandwiched between some odd behavior from Kensi. At the start of Command and Control she seemed to struggle with the comment “Not for Me” and then made the comment “Ya Gotta pay to play, Baby”…which seemed like a poor choice of words at best…. then the next ep we get Dinozzo and his clothes that seems to have Kensi drooling a little.
      then again, I just write it off to a problem with shooting Blame it on Rio so far out of sequence.
      I love the talks about the beach wedding and kids as well.


    • Thanks Psyched! That “Command & Control” scene is definitely a wonderful example of grown-up communication.


  2. One of my favorite non-verbal scenes is when they are in the helicopter looking for Callen and Sam , thinking they are dead. They take and hold each other’s hands. Very Powerful…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The scenes you picked are memorable, Karen, and the one about trust has always been very special to me. I think all the moments you have chosen for your list are important turning points for Deeks and Kensi’s partnership/relationship.
    I have another favorite one, though and, if you don’t mind, I’ll paste the complete dialog (credit for the transcript: Densiland).
    It is from “Blye, K. part 2”, the scene between Deeks and Kensi in the garage. It’s always been one of my favorites ever, one that after so many years still fills me with awe, for how amazing DR and ECO were – both at delivering their lines and at conveying so many emotions with their expressions and body language – and for the beautiful words that some NCIS LA authors were still able to write for our beloved characters.
    I consider this scene presumably as the best example of Deeks’ and Kensi’s effective communication skills before they both became bad communicators (especially in Seasons 4 and 5).

    KENSI: I need a favor.
    DEEKS: All right, if you think that I’m gonna let you go out and do this on your own, it’s not gonna happen, Kens. Forget favors. I’m taking you back.
    KENSI: I need you to keep the woman who lives here in protective custody.
    DEEKS: Why?
    KENSI: Just please do this for me.
    DEEKS: Why is she so important?
    KENSI: Because she’s my mother.
    DEEKS: I thought your mother was dead.
    KENSI: I never said that.
    DEEKS: Yeah, but you never mentioned her, so I just assumed that she…you know, had passed away or that you…
    KENSI: We just haven’t spoken for 15 years.
    DEEKS: She lives 20 minutes away from you.
    KENSI: Deeks, I need help.
    DEEKS: Okay, then I’ll bring you both in.
    KENSI: No. Somebody tried to kill me today. I’m the target. That makes my mother leverage. So the closer she is to me, the more she’s at risk.
    DEEKS: I understand that.
    KENSI: Okay. Just…
    DEEKS: Kensi…
    KENSI: No, no, no, Deeks. I-I know they want you to bring me in.
    DEEKS: I’m not talking about what they want, all right? Forget what they want. I’m talking about us, all right? I’m your partner. What makes you think that I’m gonna let you do this by yourself?
    KENSI: Because you’re my partner. And this is my mother…and you’re the only person I trust.
    DEEKS: Okay, I’ll keep her safe.

    Perfection in a couple of minutes’ dialog.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. All the moments that you (all) mentioned above are great examples of their mature communication. But I would like to add another one and that is “partner talk” in Presidium when Deeks is comforting Kensi by revealing how he handled PTSP after the torture. It is the one of their gentlest moments.


    • Maria, thanks! There’s yet another great example I forgot. I love your description of its “gentleness.” It captures the scene perfectly.


  5. In your point 2 you say : “Instead he gets her calm and loving forgiveness, arguably more than he deserves”.
    Well that is surprising … maybe you dont remember that she still keeps secrets from Him.
    Secrets about her time on the streets, that I am sure she still didnt tell him, the time she dont want him to know about because she made a lot of mistakes and wants him to only see the best part of her … I am sure this time and these mistakes will be adressed at some point in an episode to come, who knows during witch season …
    As far as we know he told her his darkest secret, but she still didnt open up about hers … so I would dare to say … if she expects him to forgive her for whatever “lots of mistakes” she made, maybe it isnt a bad Idea to be comprehensive.
    And by the way I think it is interesting to note that even if the rule “No more secrets” comes from her, he still didnt push her to open up about her secrets. I guess, just like she did, he just waits for her to be ready to tell him …


    • although it likely won’t happen,
      it would be nice if Kensi and Deeks talked about their past before they got engaged.
      Deeks about the shooting and Kensi about just what she did to survive on the streets.
      so they can go forward in their relation with truly no more secrets.
      I dont need the team to know what happened, like her relationship with jack coming to light…
      in fact I prefer it didn’t. I would like for the talk to be just between the two of them.
      the love, trust and commitment is there. it can only strengthen the bond.

      there are only so many ways a homeless teenage girl can get money to live on….and most of them aren’t very good. you start with begging, and it all goes downhill from there,,,
      I doubt she did much babysitting or lawn mowing.

      Whatever it is, I doubt Deeks will laugh at her like she did about his dancing.
      He will hold her, comfort her and tell her it doesn’t matter, no matter what it is…


      • Ed I’d also like Kensi to share more with Deeks. And I agree she doesn’t need to share with the rest of the team, but I sure would like to be able to witness at least some of those discussions!


    • martinkeeks, thanks for your comment. You raise an excellent point that Kensi still has lots to share with Deeks (at least from what we’ve seen). I used the word “arguably” on purpose in an effort to convey that opinions on Deeks keeping that particular secret from Kensi ran the gamut from totally understanding to livid to the point of leaving the fandom. I actually came down closer to understanding, if only because he couldn’t put Kensi in a position to have to testify against him or lie under oath, something that actually came up more recently with Detective Whiting.


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