Seconds Thoughts? Deeks’ Surf Log – 03/01/2020

I swear the longer I keep doing this job, the more I keep talking myself out of wanting to have children.  How could we ever bring a child into this world?  And how do you keep on living after you receive a call telling you your kid was shot at school, or found dead on a bench from a drug overdose, or killed in a shoot-out on the streets of LA?  And if they are lucky enough to survive childhood am I really going to allow my kid to work in law enforcement?  Kensi thought I was kidding but I will never support or encourage the same career path that led me to LAPD and NCIS. Do I believe in what I do?  Sure I do but I wouldn’t wish this career on anyone, especially my kids.  And hey, what’s wrong with being a stripper anyway?

Maybe I’m wrong. I mean how can I deny Kensi from holding our child in her arms.  I know she would be such a great mom, much better than I would be a dad.  Lord, I would be so nervous all the time, they would wind up hating me.  For instance, no daughter of mine gets to date until she turns 30 or even older and no way my son gets to drive a car until he graduates college.  Becoming a cop or a law enforcement agent?  Hell no, that’s never going to happen.  The only way to control all of that is to never have kids in the first place, which brings me full circle to the beginning of this rant.

On the other hand, I would be so much better at parenting than my parents, especially my dad.  To be able to give encouragement instead of criticism, knowledge instead of ignorance and love instead of hate….my kid would always know how proud I was to be their dad.  I guess it wouldn’t matter if they were a stripper or a cop, huh?  As long as we teach them to be decent human beings, I just have to trust that everything will turn out all right in the end.  Maybe that’s what being a good parent is all about. Faith.

Kensi and I need to have some more serious discussions to do on this subject.  She’s always good at talking me into doing things I don’t want to do….